Expat Recluse

How Retired Expats Lose Friends

Chance are that if you look around yourself, you will see a smaller circle of friends. How did it happen so quickly? If you spend more than a fleeting thought on the reasons, it gets pretty easy.

• Separation We're not talking about emotional i.e., marital separation. But geographical separation is often at the root of fading friendships. College may have been the first extended separation with our circles of friends.
  
  Changing jobs, especially moving to another city or state, is another prime separation scenario. We may even be competing with our former work friends
• Moving Offshore Moving to a foreign land jolts many friendships, especially if the move is "permanent". In a worst case scenario friends can interpret your move as a betrayal. Even close friends may question your wisdom choosing such an alien lifestyle.
  
  Jealousy may play a role in friends distancing themselves from you. They may perceive your enthusiasm for your new homeland as bragging about a luxury lifestyle. After all -- you now have a maid -- maybe a driver. Those domestics may be very affordable in a third-world economy, but your friends may not look at it that way.
• Repatriation Whether it is for economic, family or cultural reasons, expats often repatriate. Maybe they ran short of funds. Perhaps they missed family. Your paradise may not be their paradise.
  
  Repatriated friends are less likely to stay in touch. They may be embarrassed -- perhaps envious
• Moving Countries Expats likes and dislikes change. They may have liked the party atmosphere of Bangkok or Buenos Aires in their early years, but time has slowed them down. Now Punta del Este, Uruguay or Arica, Chile may serve them better.
  
  As visa regulations change so will many expats change countries. Political changes may also make a location suddenly undesirable.
• Isolation Sometime we decide to isolate ourselves from certain social circles. We can no longer play tennis. Golf is not as much fun as it once was. We stop drinking -- so we no longer social at the local watering hole.
  
  Maybe a new marriage is more rewarding than some activities in which we engaged.
• Death Watching friends fade away is incredibly sad -- but it is reality.

If you are starting to feel too isolated, your answer can be making new expat friends (coming)