• Expat Retirement
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      by Byron Bales

This might sounds crazy, but yes; an interesting retirement can be had in Haiti.

Haiti is another one of those Non - Countries. No one cares about the country and it's been America's football for over 100 years, and remains the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. While I wouldn't recommend Haiti for married retirees, a single male with a modest income can live comfortably, and can even enjoy himself. Again, reading, drinking and swimming will be a major pastime.

Nothing works right and just about everything in Haiti has been shot to hell, with the U.S. Marines making incursions in and out of Port au Prince since Christ was a Corporal.

Remember the AIDS scare some 20 years back? Well, word has it that the governors of Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands pissed and moaned that Haiti (where gambling is legal) was drawing too many vacationers from those U.S. Territories. Something needed to be done, so an AIDS scare was circulated about Haiti.

In my 50-60 trips handling investigations in Haiti over the past 25 years, I have seen AIDS in Haiti. But not what health authorities suggested. True, many AIDS patients stayed home to die, thereby denying an accurate table for comparison by the World Health Organization and other beans counters. I've probably been to 80% of the hospitals in the country (there aren't many) and if anyone was in a position to witness all this alleged death and carnage, it would have been me and my associates. We found little evidence that supported the scare, but if a hangnail will keep Americans from going overseas on a holiday, imagine what AIDS and an occasional coup d'etat will do.

Haiti is a cash and carry economy. The gourd, Haiti's currency, is worthless, and everyone uses U.S. dollars. Shortages are endemic, medical services are non-existent (Fly up to Miami: 90 minutes) and the country is generous with their coup d'etats, always providing entertainment for a few days. I've never known a foreigner to be harmed in one of these seemingly annual events, but I suppose it's happened. I've watches a few coup d'etats from the terrace bar at the Montana Hotel half way up the mountain leading to Petionville, and for a pastime, betting on the outcome is all the rage. So, during these times, stock your bar well and invite over five or six friendly house guests.

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